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The following is the contents of the booklet contained in the Our Little Blue Box kit.   By reading to the end, you will have the basics about how to facilitate a listening circle.  The kit, while helpful, is not necessary to conduct a successful listening circle.  With the help of your family, you can make or find something meaningful to use as a talking ball (talking stick).

A Tool to Help Your Family Communicate More Effectively 

 

Words of Inspiration

If I am not for myself, Who will be for me? 

And if I am for myself Alone, What am I? 

And if not Now, When? 

–  Hillel the Elder 

 

This above all: to thine own self be true, 

And it must follow, as the night the day, 

Thou canst not then be false to any man. 

–  William Shakespeare 

 

Don’t take Anything Personally 

Don’t Make Assumptions 

Be Impeccable with your Word 

Always Do your Best 

– Miguel Ruiz – The Four Agreements 

Contents of your Our Little Blue Box 

Blue Box – a focal point for good intentions and positive actions of the family 

Booklet – containing ideas to self-guide and facilitate circles/meetings  

Talking Ball or Talking Piece – empowering the speaker and for taking turns 

Sand Timer – use as needed to maintain decorum 

Shell – something of nature to add to the center 

What Is Our Little Blue Box? 

Our Little Blue Box guides your family to listen to each other by using structured but flexible family meetings/circles. We use the term “circle” because the family arranges itself in a circle.  Circles can bring and keep your family together. 

Our Little Blue Box empowers family members, no matter how young or old, to respectfully express their individual interests and opinions.  All family members have a voice.  

Our Little Blue Box represents your good intentions and positive actions.  It can strengthen family bonds and help your family identify and perpetuate its values from generation to generation. 

Self-Guided Communication with Two main goals 

1. To help your family communicate on an ongoing and regular basis. (Helping Our Family) 

Each family member has the opportunity to share what’s going on in their lives, while others listen. 

Helping Each Other Questions/Prompts: 

• What are the Highs and Lows we have experienced during the past week?  Month? 
• What do we need to arrange/schedule for this week?  Month?  
• What important in our lives that we want our family to know about? 
• How can we help each other with important stuff? 

Fun Questions 

• What do you enjoy doing most when you have free time? What makes it fun for you? 
• If you chose one to live without, would it be: a smartphone, the internet, or TV? Why? 
• Which of the 5 senses would you miss most: sight, sound, smell, taste or touch? Why? 
• Do you have a life motto? What is it? Why?
• What was the nicest thing someone has done for you? How did it make you feel?
• What song best describes you? Why? 

2. To help your family define and take action on those issues and causes you believe are important. (Helping Others) 

Helping Others Questions/Prompts: 

• How would you make the world a better place?
• If you could cure one disease, what would it be?
• How can we, as a family help others? 
• What is our family’s history of helping?
• What do we, our parents, grandparents’ value or treasure most?  Do we believe in those values?
• What are some of the troubling problems in our community that we would like to change?
• Is this something we would do or work on once a year, twice a year, once a month?
• How can we use Our Little Blue Box circles as a way to intentionally build a family legacy? 

Guide to a Successful Circle  

The following guide is to give you a start, but do what you feel will work for your family. Lead with your heart. 

Preparation Before the Circle – Limit distractions – TV and cell phones should be off, and no one browsing the internet. 

Opening the Circle 

The circle leader (can be any family member) places the Blue Box and contents at the center of the family circle.  While holding the Talking Ball, he/she reads the following statement of intention and dedication: 

It is our intention to engage in an Our Little Blue Box circle. May we be fully present to listen with an open mind and speak our truth with love in our heart.  We create this special time together with an understanding that it is here we are safe, and it is now that we are respectful and tolerant to others. 

We intend to:  

• Speak honestly and from our hearts 
• Be brief and respectful of our time together 
• Listen attentively to each other 

We agree: 

• Not to interrupt the person holding the Talking Ball and there will be no cross-talk 
• To respect our privacy – what is said during our circle stays in the circle 

The Circle Leader (keeping the best interests of the circle in mind) continues: 

• Invite others to offer individual dedications, then hand the Talking Ball to the left. 
• Invite each circle member to take a turn to hold the Talking Ball for few seconds, while silent and breathing slowly. 
• Use a “check in” question such as: “If you described yourself as the weather, how are you feeling at this moment, e.g. sunny, cloudy, stormy, etc.” 
• Invite others to respectfully acknowledge the participant who has completed talking, with eye contact, a smile or a silent nod, before it is handed to the next family member to their left.
• Encourage participants to be brief and to the point. No one, including the circle leader should dominate the circle. Use the sand timer as needed until decorum is attained. 

Keep the initial Circle brief – about 10-20 minutes – then adjust the time as appropriate for subsequent circles. 

Closing the Circle 

Holding the Talking Ball, the circle leader asks: Is there anything anyone would like to add in order to feel complete? (Pass the Taking Ball). 

The circle leader thinks of a creative way to end the circle, e.g. on the count of three we all clap our hands in unison.   

After the Circle 

• The Talking Ball and other items are replaced in the Little Blue Box, then returned to a prominent place in your home.  

• Conclude each family circle with a fun family activity.  

• By taking turns being the circle leader, everyone in the family will feel included and empowered. 

• Agree to a date for your next family circle.  Once regular circle times and dates are established – keep the same schedule.